What I learned on the New Jersey Turnpike

Traveling with small children is always interesting. Especially if you hit traffic. When we left on Wednesday morning for the Thanksgiving weekend, we managed to avoid any serious delays, but because we were traveling in the daytime, it was pretty unlikely that either Samson or Jane would sleep in the car.

There's just way too much to look at. From the never-ending convoy of big rigs and Greyhound buses to the seemingly limitless supply of construction vehicles and workers (seriously, will they ever be finished repairing the roads in Westchester?), the odds were definitely against us. Which afforded a lot of time to listen to Samson and Jane as they were shuttled along the I-95 corridor. Along the way, I learned a few things:

1. Jane really likes the Crazy 88's theme music. A lot. Of course, she doesn't know the song is called "Battle without honor or humanity," and she sure as heck hasn't seen "Kill Bill Vol. 1." In fact, she calls it "shh-tuh wot won" because of the way the cymbals crescendo and to let me know it's "that one," I guess. In any event, any time she saw the iPod, she made her request.

2. If Toyota ever teams up with McDonald's circa 1985 to create a McDLT car, we will be first on the waiting list. Samson is apparently always cold. And Jane only needs to see Vicki putting on the heat for them in the back to be hot. Seriously, if Vicki's hand even went even near the dial, Jane would pipe up "hot; too hot!"

3. Vicki and I are under surveillance. Whether it's Jane looking at Samson, as he tries to grab a toy from her, saying "Don't. You. Dare." or the way that Sam sprinkles his sentences with the word "apparently," very little we say goes unnoticed. I knew this, but being in a car for an extended period of time sort of concentrates the experience.

4. I am glad Samson can't read. Despite the fact that we are proud of him for being potty trained, having to take him to use the restroom on the NJTPK is not one of my favorite things to do. So I'm especially glad he's too young yet to have taken notice of the commentary scrawled all over the stall, including references to Frank's predilection for long-haul truckers, Cheryl's lack of moral fiber, and a general lack of enthusiasm for the Eagles (not sure if the writer meant the band or the team; either way, he was kind of right).

5. When they are awake, Samson and Jane are awfully cute [I'm biased, of course]. But when they're sleeping, my kids look like angels, and I want nothing more in the world than to get off the highway and get home where they can be safe and warm in their beds.