Big top Samson

Not quite the greatest show on earth. Probably like the 7th most interesting way to spend 2 hours in the greater metro area today. And only because it was cold and raining outside.

Even so, I think Samson had fun. We got there about 15 minutes early and were surprised to find we had beaten the bus from his school. They arrived 10 minutes into the show with stories about a bus driver who couldn't find downtown and took them north on the beltway instead of south. Reason #22 I'm glad we drove.

So I don't know if he had a great time or an OK time or if he could even focus on all the stuff that was going on. I am certain of this: He really enjoyed the 47 lb. box of popcorn we bought from a vendor. Anytime you can fit your whole arm into a container and still come out with some popcorn, you've hit good times.

The circus itself was really, well, weird. And not weird in a sort of cool but quasi-pretentious way (like Cirque du Soleil).

This was more weird in a "gosh those dancers look like strippers" and "why would you want to drive a Jeep over a guy's stomach?" sort of way. The whole concept behind the show was the "circus of dreams," so it started with a "family" being "picked from the audience." Which made me smile because the best thing about the circus is that it's still got that P.T. Barnum vibe to it. The whole thing is a con, so you might as well enjoy the ride.

"Dad" had always dreamt of becoming a ringmaster. Luckily for him, he had anchorman hair and a radio voice. "Mom" harbored secret dreams of becoming an aerialist. In an outfit and a pair of glasses probably bought from a Van Halen garage sale, she was up in the air in no time. If anyone didn't get that it was a set up, by the time they saw Mom they figured it out. [Except for the guy in our section who kept cheering her on. More on this later]. The big sister, Jan, had dreams of becoming an assistant to the strongman. Way to dream big, sis.

But Dan, the little brother, in addition to being a 35-year-old Chinese national, had no idea what he wanted to be. So began the journey...

There was some cool tumbling and lots of clowns, and the usual death-defying stuff with trapezes and the like. But there was also this weird sideshow video thing with three elephants talking to the audience.

One sounded like the mom from Good Times, one sounded like I imagine Woody Allen's mom has sounded in his head all these years, and one had the voice of a child. They kept going on and on about training humans and how the circus is good for showing what humans can do. Every once in a while they'd also put in a plug about how much Ringling Bros. do for conservation.

I'm not sure if it was some kind of weird circus Jedi mind trick to keep us from worrying about the elephants who were being made to do handstands for us or if they focused-grouped a whole bunch of "ethnic" sounding elephants and these polled highest. Either way, Samson was confused. And quite frankly, so was I.

Weirder still was the trained tiger part of the show. Anytime you hear a live instrumental arrangement of Bow Wow Wow's "Aprhodisiac," that should be a signal that something is amiss.

But it's late, and I'm beat, and Jane's still not asleep. So I'll have to get to that tomorrow.