Third person singular

Samson got a dancing Elmo doll for his birthday. It's probably his favorite toy right now, and when the music plays, Sam gets this huge smile and dances along. The song Elmo sings, a variation of the "YMCA" by the Village People, could be the biggest earworm since "Kokomo," "I've Got My Mind Set on You," and/or "West End Girls."

Good luck getting those songs out of your head today. You're welcome.

There is little I could say (read: complain) about Elmo that would be original. Yes, the voice is like nails on a chalkboard, but he's a muppet. It would be pretty unsettling if he sounded like Robert Goulet. Likewise, the laugh is really annoying, but I'd still take it over Fran Drescher's any day.

I may be showing my age here, but I remember when Elmo was introduced as a character. I still feel like he's an interloper on "The Street," like when sitcoms need to extend their run a few more seasons and add a new, young, ostensibly cute kid to the mix. Oliver on the Brady's, Jeremy on "Eight is Enough," Scrappy-Doo; the list is a sad and endless litany of shark jumping.

I'll take the old episodes, when Snuffleupagus [yes, I looked up the correct spelling] was still invisible and Mr. Hooper was out sweeping in front of his store. Now everyone sees Snuffy, and Mr. Hooper is long gone. And Hooper's store has been turned into a Starbucks.

Ok, that last part isn't true.

Yet.

All that aside, I think my biggest complaint with Elmo is that he speaks of himself in the third person. If Sesame Street is still an educational show and not just the best marketing campaign ever, why would they want to teach kids to speak like professional athletes?

Do I really want to hear young Samson say, "Samson loves the zoo." Or, "Samson is hungry and wants some milk and cookies." Worse yet: "Count on Samson to step up when the game is on the line. Samson is at his best under pressure that would crack mortal men."

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